no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
