I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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