Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
