A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
