All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
