I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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