angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
