This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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