is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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