Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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