I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
two words...techno handjob
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
