so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
