i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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