also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
