i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
