ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
