Buhtt sex?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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