i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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