my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
