You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I would ride that face into the sunset
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
