we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
