so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize