my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
