Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize
