The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
