Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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