You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
