this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
