Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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