You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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