you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
