so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
