Do vagina's smell?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
