I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
