I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
