Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
