So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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