Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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