I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
