I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i believe in u and ur pee
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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