So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
