careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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