member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
ttyl tear gas
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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