I am puke
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
