Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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