where am i from again
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
