I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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