omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
