just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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