the condom got lost in my hair
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
my liver is dry heaving
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize