let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
