I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
