I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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