but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
did i walk over a car last night?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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