8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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