Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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