just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
