I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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