His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
