just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
