the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
