He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
